Monday, November 28, 2011

Disgusted With Black Friday And Other Thanksgiving Excesses? Check Out Andy Borowitz

By Manifesto Joe (Well, sort of)

The Walmart pepper-spray incident in California was just one more of many reasons for Americans to feel ashamed about Black Friday. If there is no other reason for us to be embarrassed about being residents of the U.S., this is it.

I can't equal this man's one-liner humor, so I give you Mr. Andy Borowitz!

How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat.

Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way: spend money you don't have on Chinese products.

Here's a Thanksgiving diet tip: this year, don't eat like such a fucking pig.

Rick Perry says as President he would pardon a turkey on Thanksgiving and execute an innocent man instead.

BREAKING: US to Deploy Walmart Shoppers in Afghanistan.

The NBA deal is an inspiring story of millionaires finding common ground with billionaires.

BREAKING: FDA Declares Rick Perry a Vegetable.

As Egyptians risk their lives for new government, Americans bravely do the same for new flat screens.

My immigration proposal: we let illegal immigrants stay here but Mexico has to take our presidential candidates.

Besides pepper-spraying protesters and not arresting football coaches, what exactly do campus police do?

China may lead us in math and science, but we are way ahead of them in shitty vampire movies.

Want more? Andy is on Facebook and Twitter!

Manifesto Joe Is An Underground Writer Living In Texas.

1 comment:

Jack Jodell said...

Those were both ironic and hilarious, Joe!