'Amaricas Congress Woman,' Moron Michele Bachmann, Is Entitled To Her Own Opinion, Not To Her Own Version Of History

By Manifesto Joe

You read that title right. The Web site www.michelebachmann.com actually has America misspelled, and with no apostrophe. Do a search. I don't frequent her home page, so I have no idea how long the Yahoo! search engine has been like that.

Texas has long had a Republican Party platform that makes John Birch Society screeds from the 1960s look moderate. So, I would have thought that no other state could produce a blend of moronic and psychotic quite like this. I'd have to say that Minnesota "Congress Woman" Michele Bachmann wins the prize, far and away, over anything this state has ever produced. Her head is so far up her ass, it's threatening to emerge from her throat.

Here's a video, courtesy of no-spin C-Span, showing Bachmann in all her egregious reign of error:



For someone who knows anything about American history, this batshit insanity is so breathtaking that it's hard to know where to begin. And it was spoken by a member of Congress, on the House floor. Of course, I have to throw in that this is a member of Congress who went to college at Oral Roberts University. (aka "Anal" Roberts)

Well, OK, for starters -- the "Hoot-Smalley" tariff was actually the Smoot-Hawley protectionist tariff. It was enacted in 1930, by a Republican-controlled Congress, and signed into law during the first year of the Great Depression by Republican President Herbert Hoover. It predated the New Deal by well over two years. Hoover told the American people that "prosperity is just around the corner." Joblessness rose to nearly 25% before he left office.

Bachmann's Ignorance About History is Nothing Short of Obscene

Let's go on. Calvin Coolidge became president in August 1923, closer to the middle 1920s rather than the "early" 1920s that she talks about. The postwar recession in America was long over by then. It was his thick-headed, horny predecessor, Warren Gamaliel Harding, who inherited a recession. If I recall correctly, Harding played poker and drank whiskey with the larcenous Ohio Gang, and made lots of kissy-face and little nasties with Nan Britton in the White House broom closet, waiting for the whole ugly mess to blow over. He died relatively young, dumb and possibly happy.

Anyway, by Bachmann's "historical account," the "Roaring Twenties" are supposed to have followed Coolidge's supply-side economic policies, which could not have gone into effect until the midpoint of the decade. I have the historical impression that the unbalanced "boom" of the Twenties was already well under way by 1923. Unfortunately, a lot of small towns and rural farm areas weren't included in the "boom." I recall this as one of the weak underpinnings of the 1920s U.S. economy.

Then, according to the scribes of Bachmann Land, the economic downturn that followed the stock market crash of 1929 was supposed to have been a manageable recession. I hear this is what she told CPAC conventioneers in her recent speech to them.

But that evil collectivist demon FDR managed to get the "Hoot-Smalley" tariff passed in 1930, which was an unprecedented feat, since Roosevelt was governor of New York state at the time and the Republicans still controlled Congress.

Yep, then the unemployment rate during that "manageable recession" got close to 25 percent during the grim winter of 1932-33. FDR, still governor of New York, had his evil collectivist tallons dug into the country's fair loins, long before he took office on March 4, 1933.

Aleister Crowley, eat your Satan-worshipping heart out. That FDR dude had astounding mind-control powers that left you and your magic circles in the damp English dust.

Anyway, the American people supposedly suffered for 10 long years under the yoke of that demonic collectivist FDR. But somewhere in the dregs of my mind, I seem to recall that unemployment, though still high, generally trended down after he took office. And, he was obstructed by a right-wing Supreme Court that declared two of his crucial programs unconstitutional. He managed to eventually work around them, and by 1940 the annual unemployment rate was down to 14.6 percent. Then it plunged into single digits when that demonic, collectivist federal government stepped in and put the country on a war footing.

A Basic U.S. History Test for Members of Congress

I hear that Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., proposed during a speech to Tea Party imbeciles that the U.S. should bring back literacy tests for voting.

I have a better idea -- not mine originally, but I want to help give this a hearing. Michele Bachmann is a prime example of why all members of Congress should be able to pass a basic literacy test in American history.

I'm not a historian, but I almost didn't have to be. I took a CLEP test when I was a senior in high school and placed out of 6 hrs. of American history. (Yeah, I know, what a braggart, and why the hell ain't you rich?)

Point is, I would expect even the fucking dumbest member of Congress to know more genuine American history than Michele Bachmann. I don't think a basic cultural literacy test for our Washington reps is something that should be out of the question, since Mr. Tancredo is bringing up standards of republican democracy here.

I find it deeply embarrassing that someone with this much shit for brains can even hold office this high. It makes me feel shame for our country that anyone out there even listens to this fool. Then, there's the matter of how she ever got elected to be anything, even dogcatcher. I own dogs that seem smarter.

By the way, where have the news media been during all this? I know they've been treating right-wingers deferentially, for fear of being accused of liberal bias. But reporters aren't supposed to be just stenographers with amnesia. Joseph Pulitzer said the 3 most important things in journalism are "accuracy, accuracy and accuracy." Politicians should be held to a similar standard. They are entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts.

Manifesto Joe Is An Underground Writer Living In Texas.